


Remember Me

by Hot_elf



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Amnesia, F/M, Memory Loss, Post-Canon, Recovered Memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:13:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27973549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hot_elf/pseuds/Hot_elf
Summary: "So, let me see if I can get this straight: The two of us met during those months I can't recall? And you are with this secret organisation called Shadowhunters, which I used to belong to as well?" Clary sounds incredulous, and Jace can't blame her. "You really expect me to believe all of this? All the legends are true?"It's taking Clary longer than expected to recover her memories after meeting Jace at the gallery. And waiting has never come easy to Jace.Set right after the end of the show.
Relationships: Clary Fray/Jace Wayland
Comments: 9
Kudos: 37





	1. Chapter 1

"The whole sink is full of dishes, and we need almond milk, again! Oh, and tomorrow's laundry day, so don't forget… Clary?" Maureen shakes her head in exasperation. "Hello? Earth to Clary? Have you been listening to a single word I've been saying?"

"Not really, no." Clary sighs. "Sorry, Maureen. I was thinking about last night. There was this guy I met at the gallery, and-"

"A guy?" It's almost funny how Maureen's ears visibly prick up. She's been on Clary's case forever, about dating and _putting herself out there._ "Do tell me more. What did he look like? Was he cute?"

She shrugs. "There's not much to tell. Tall, blond. Kinda cute, yeah. He looked familiar, so I talked to him."

Maureen's curiosity changes to concern within a heartbeat. "He looked familiar? Clary, do you think he might have something to do with your…" She coughs delicately. "Your condition?"

"My amnesia, you mean?" Clary sighs. "It's possible. Or maybe I met him ten years ago at summer camp or something. I _did_ know his name, though. He's called Jace."

"Huh?" Maureen frowns. "Odd. I don't think you've ever mentioned him."

"Yeah, it's odd." Clary keeps her tone light, but if she's honest, she's feeling pretty shaken. Whoever this Jace is, there's something intriguing about him. Those odd, mismatched eyes, for starters, and the weird tattoos on his neck… And what on Earth had possessed her to actually _touch_ them? Not that he had objected, but she wasn't usually the type of girl who-

"Clary?" There's a strange inflection to Maureen's voice. "Maybe you ought to see Dr Seidel again? Just in case."

"But I'm not forgetting things again." Clary shivers. Her therapist is a lovely woman, but she's glad to have put all that behind her. "I'm remembering them. Surely that can't be bad."

It's been hard enough to accept that several months of her life have been wiped from her brain. _Trauma_ , according to the doctors, caused by the disappearance of Luke and her mother, and the fire at the apartment. And sure, that would be enough for anyone to lose their mind. At least that's what Clary keeps telling herself.

She's lucky to have such good friends, in any case. If not for Maureen's generosity, she'd have been out on the streets. Even so, it's been a tough year for both of them, grieving over Simon's death together, while trying to cope with grown-up responsibilities and college classes at the same time.

"So, what are you going to do?" Maureen is watching her, still wary. "Are you going to see him again?"

"Who? Jace?" Clary shrugs. "Maybe, yes. As I said, he was cute." Which is the understatement of the year, really. _Insanely hot_ would be more like it. And if he's really holding the keys to her lost memories… Oh yeah, she is _definitely_ going to call him back, if only because she's curious.

"Just be careful, okay?" Maureen sighs. "And don't forget about the laundry again. Amnesia is no excuse for sloppiness."

* * *

"So, let me see if I can get this straight: The two of us met during those months I can't recall? And you are with this secret organisation called _Shadowhunters_ , which I used to belong to as well?" Clary sounds incredulous, and Jace can't blame her. "You really expect me to believe all of this? _All the legends are true?_ " She paints air quotes with her hands for extra sarcasm.

Jace takes a deep breath. "Look, I know it's a lot to take in. There's no way to make you believe me, not unless you give me the benefit of the doubt first. But if you take a moment to listen to your heart, what does it tell you?"

She hesitates. "I… I'm not sure. Some of the things you're describing sound vaguely familiar, but I can't recall any of it with certainty, so I'll just have to take your word for it. I mean, it's not like I can be sure of anything. For all I know, I could be a time traveller, or an alien." Clary's lip is trembling a little, and it pains Jace to see her like this. "God, you must think I'm such a weirdo."

"No! No, I don't." Vehemently, he shakes his head. "It happens. Amnesia, I mean. I really just want to help. If you'll let me."

"Yeah, well." She stirs her cappuccino, avoiding his gaze. "It would be nice to have it all back. To feel normal again."

Jace resists the temptation to point out that her time with the Shadowhunters probably won't seem very _normal_ to her. Mundanes and their habits are still a source of mystery to him. It's the strangest feeling, to _date_ Clary, to wait for her to call and to arrange to see her in some café or other. Jace doesn't quite know what to make of it – he really doesn't know the rules for this kind of situation, and he strongly suspects he's coming on too strong. At least she seems to like him so far, or at least she's not running away from him. Yet.

They have talked about it, him and Izzy and Alec, and they've agreed that it's best to be patient and to let her memories return at their own pace. Clary went through so much in such a short time that having it all come back at once might be too much for her. But watching her reclaim her past at such a torturously slow pace is more painful than he'd anticipated. More than anything, Jace wishes there were a way to speed up the process and make it more bearable, for her and for him.

"We could start by working out what triggers your flashbacks," he suggests. "Maybe if you could come to the Institute some time, and meet the others…"

"The Institute?" Clary's head flies up, and for a moment her eyes glaze over, but then she nods. "I've been there before, right? With you?"

Jace nods eagerly, glad for this small glimmer of hope. "Yes. That's right."

"I guess I could." She still sounds doubtful. "Let me think about it."

He agrees reluctantly, struggling to hide his frustration. It had all seemed so easy a few days ago, back at the gallery, when she'd recognized him and recalled his name. He'd expected all the time she'd lost to come flooding back, within a few hours at the most. For the first time in almost a year, he'd dared to hope that he'd hold her in his arms again soon.

Instead, it's turning out to be an erratic and unpredictable process. So far, she has responded to some familiar words or sights, like Magnus' name or the runes on his neck. Others have had no impact, as far as Jace can tell. He's beginning to recognize the expression on her face when it happens, that flash of vulnerability in her eyes as she struggles to process the new information and to make sense of the world she's rediscovering.

And while some small part of him can accept that this is the only way she can be expected to cope with all the pain of the past, Jace hates it. He wants Clary back, now, and every hour of waiting is torture.

* * *

Talking to Jace is weird.

It's not that he's scary or creepy. He's clearly trying not to push her, and Clary's instincts tell her that he genuinely wants to help her. But sometimes there's such a world of pain in his eyes, when she fails to recall some detail, and it makes her wonder what exactly happened between the two of them. They must have been close; Clary can feel it in her bones. Friends? Lovers even? It's not an unpleasant thought – Jace is attractive, after all, by any standard. And he seems to be into her, as far as she can tell. But how could she possibly forget someone she'd been in love with?

Maureen is still suspicious of the whole thing. "So, he wants you to come to this _Institute_ and meet his friends? Sure, why not? I mean, what's the worst that could happen?" Her voice is dripping with sarcasm. "Except for you being raped or killed, or-"

"It's not like that." It's unlikely that she'll be able to convince Maureen, but Clary feels obliged to try, at least. "Look, I know I've been there before, and I know they won't harm me. They're not a threat. They were my friends."

"But how can you _know_ all this, if you still don't remember?" Maureen sounds exasperated. "What kind of name is _Shadowhunters_ anyway, and why would you belong to a secret organisation? You're not making any sense at all."

"I know." Clary sighs wearily. She hasn't even told Maureen about Simon yet, about Jace's claims that he's still alive. It sounds crazy, but some part of her is strangely convinced that it's true. Still, she can't tell Maureen. Not yet.

* * *

With Simon, everything is easy as pie. Jace should have known, really. Still, it's hard not to feel jealous, because the moment Clary passes the Institute's threshold, she practically throws herself into Simon's arms, hugging him tightly.

"Fray! There you are. Man, I've missed you like crazy." There are tears in Simon's eyes, even as he is beaming from ear to ear. "It's been so hard without you."

"Yeah, well." Clary's voice is thick with emotion. "You think you've had it tough? I spent the past year thinking you were dead. Imagine what _that_ was like!"

And just like that, they fall back into the same comfortable friendship they've shared before. Maybe it's because Clary has known Simon since they were children, or maybe their easy banter hides the cracks in their relationship. Or maybe there's a more obscure reason that Jace can't hope to understand.

It doesn't matter. Not even the fact that Simon is a vampire now appears to faze Clary. Heck, she doesn't even seem to struggle much with the realization that vampires do, in fact, exist. She's just ecstatic to have her friend back, and Jace is glad for both of them, he really is.

But, by the Angel, it hurts. Because it's anything but easy for Jace. _He_ still has to wait, wait until her memories of him return and she remembers everything they've been to each other. And with each day that passes, it gets harder to be patient.

It also hurts that Clary doesn't agree to move back in with them right away. When Izzy offers her old room at the Institute back to her, she shakes her head decisively. "No, thanks. I can't leave Maureen hanging, and besides, I can't afford to miss my lectures at the Academy. After all, I'm going to need a proper education if I want to be able to pay my bills one day."

Jace wants to shout at her, to tell her that those lectures are a waste of time. She is a Shadowhunter, a Nephilim, and she's never going to need a _job_ to make a living, like a freaking _mundane_. But he bites his tongue, forcing himself to be quiet.

 _Patience_. It has never been his strongest suit.


	2. Chapter 2

It's a clear, sunny spring day, and classes end early, because one of the lecturers has called in sick. On impulse, Clary decides to drop in at the Institute. She's hoping to see Simon (or maybe Jace), but when she arrives, neither of them is around.

The Shadowhunters working at their stations give her odd looks as she passes them, and she thinks she can hear them whisper behind her back. Clary wonders what they see when they look at her – an old friend, a passing acquaintance, a rival, maybe? Did she used to chat with them, maybe bring them coffee or work by their side? She has no way of knowing, and it makes her nervous, like she's walking on a thin layer of ice, listening for the tell-tale creaking sound of it breaking.

Finally, she spots Isabelle Lightwood at one of the workstations, the Head of the Institute. Clary hesitates before talking to her. Jace has mentioned several times that she and _Izzy_ used to be friends, but Clary has a hard time wrapping her mind around that idea. Isabelle is so beautiful, so competent, so poised; not at all the sort of girl who would normally befriend Clary. As for her and Simon dating – that's a mystery for the ages, as far as Clary is concerned.

When Clary shyly asks her about Jace, she raises a perfect eyebrow. "He's out on a mission. We've had reports of a nest of Croucher demons near Fulton Street, and he's taken out a team to deal with them. Don't worry, he should be back soon."

Clary nods, trying to hide her confusion. Demons, vampires, werewolves - Lord knows what else. Everyone at the Institute keeps tossing those terms around without a second thought. _All the legends are true,_ as Jace keeps saying. It does get a bit much sometimes.

Isabelle is still looking at her, as if she expects an answer, but Clary has no clue what to say, so she just shrugs and smiles. With an exasperated sigh, Isabelle turns back to her computer. It's fortunate that just then, there's a commotion at the door, saving them both from an awkward situation.

Jace walks in, clad in _very_ tight leather pants and a black T-shirt, grinning like a madman and oozing confidence. "Mission accomplished, Iz. They tried to put up a fight, but we had no problem taking them out. Oh, hey, Clary! How are you doing?"

Confidence isn't all he's oozing, Clary realizes – the front of his shirt is covered in a black viscous substance that smells like rotten eggs. "Ugh! What's that stuff on your shirt?" She wrinkles her nose.

Jace glances carelessly downwards, as if he hadn't noticed the stench at all. "That? Oh, that's just ichor. No, don't touch it!" He catches her hand before she can sample some of the substance. "It's demon blood," he explains. "It can be toxic or burn your skin."

"Shouldn't you get rid of it, then?" Clary just barely resists the temptation to roll her eyes. Clearly, _someone_ thinks he's invincible.

"Good point." Without missing a beat, Jace grabs the hem of his shirt and yanks it over his head, tossing it to the floor.

Clary swallows hard. Not so much at the sight of Jace shirtless, though he is definitely worth a second look, with his smooth golden skin and the impressive muscles dancing in his chest and shoulders. But it's the runes that catch her eye, so many runes, almost all of his upper body covered in their swirling, intricate patterns. They look both beautiful and slightly unnerving, and she can't help but reach out and touch one of them, tracing its outline along his biceps.

Jace shivers, biting his lip, but he makes no move to stop her. "Clary?"

"Did I… did I used to have those as well?" Clary glances down at the back of her hand, at the lonely eye rune there that Jace has drawn there for her with his stele. In her mind's eye she can see others, on her wrist, her upper arm, strange exotic symbols that she _almost_ understands.

"Yes." There's a weird undertone to Jace's voice. "Those and more. You even used to-"

"Jace!" Isabelle's tone is sharp, an order rather than an admonition. "Don't!"

Jace snorts impatiently, tossing back his hair and glaring at her. "This is ridiculous, Iz. Clary is a Shadowhunter, just like you and me, and she needs to get her runes back, or else she'll be in danger. We can't keep her ignorant forever."

"I agree. But we need to talk to Alec about this first." Isabelle sounds much softer now, and the look she gives Jace is almost pleading. "He is the Inquisitor. He has to decide."

Clary sighs, because Alec Lightwood is even more intimidating than his sister. Just like her, he's gorgeous, with those soft brown eyes and the stunning smile – prettier than any guy has a right to be. But from what little she's seen of him, he's far more serious, far stricter than Isabelle. Besides, the title of _Inquisitor_ doesn't exactly inspire confidence, conjuring up pictures of witch hunts and torture chambers. Jace and Alec seem remarkably close, though, and Clary has heard rumours that there's a softer side to him that comes out when he's with his husband, Magnus. But so far, that's only hearsay to her.

Predictably, Alec refuses to restore her runes all at once. "We've talked about this, Jace. There's no point in rushing things. However," When he faces Clary, his smile is kind, if distant. "Let's make a deal. As soon as you remember the meaning of a rune and the way to draw it, you can have it back. Does that seem fair to you?"

Clary nods, because what else can she say? At least the drawing part should come easy to her. Now if only they'd let her have her own stele.

* * *

Weeks pass, and Clary is slowly, very slowly regaining more memories – not nearly fast enough for Jace's taste, but it's progress.

Alec is completely stoic about the whole thing, of course. When Jace asks him to bring in Magnus, to try and speed up Clary's recollection of the past, he shakes his head. "That's not a good idea, Jace, and you know it. Raziel knows what he's doing, and if it takes her longer to remember, I'm sure it's for the best."

"Easy for you to say!" Jace isn't sure whether the hot pain in his chest is anger or despair. Probably both. "You have no idea what it's like to watch and wait and hope-"

"Jace!" Alec rolls his eyes at him. "I'm your _parabatai_. I know exactly how much you hurt."

"Do you?" Jace no longer bothers to hide the pain in his voice, knowing Alec can feel it anyway. "Do you, really? Because… What if I never get her back, Alec? What if she never remembers me?"

"She will." Alec's expression softens. "Look, I know it's hard. It may be the hardest thing you've ever done. But at the end of the day... don't you think you can bear it for her sake? With all that's happened..." His expansive gesture takes in the whole room, the city, the world. "She needs to take it slow, or she'll break."

"I know!" Jace sighs. "I know, Alec. I'm just not sure how much more I can take."

"You're the strongest warrior I know." Alec puts a hand on Jace's shoulder, warm and comforting. "If anyone can handle this, it's you."

Jace hopes he is right. Because the whole situation is rapidly getting more than he can bear.

Izzy understands him better. She, too, gets frustrated by Clary's slow progress, exasperated by all the things she still doesn't recall. Clary is friendly enough towards her, but it's painfully obvious to anyone who knew her before that their old bond is broken. And for all her smiles, Izzy isn't one to open up easily to strangers, as Jace is well aware of.

"I wanted her to be my _parabatai_ , Jace." There's no trace of joy in Izzy's laugh. "That's kind of a big deal for me. I trusted Clary with my life, with my secrets, with everything I was. And now, most of the time she barely acknowledges I'm there. And if she does, it's almost as if she's _afraid_ of me. It's a nightmare."

"She needs time, Iz." Mechanically, Jace repeats the admonition he has heard so often himself, but his heart isn't in it, and Izzy knows it.

"Yeah, well." Izzy's lips curl up in a frustrated sneer. "She's had plenty of time already, don't you think?"

Jace is beginning to worry that the girls' friendship is a lost cause, when it finally happens. They are at Pandemonium, celebrating Simon's not-really-a-birthday, and Izzy is on the dance floor, writhing in happy abandon, shaking out her luxurious mane of hair, her eyes closed in bliss. The music is somehow familiar, a pulsing, throbbing beat, but it takes a moment for Jace to recognize it as the song that was playing back when they first met Clary at the club. Something about _breathing in and out_ , and suddenly Clary blinks in confusion, then shakes her head, like she's waking from a dream. Moments later, she's out there, too, embracing Izzy and whispering frantically in her ear.

When they both return, Izzy is smiling, and the tension has disappeared from her posture. Slipping into the seat next to Jace's, she briefly takes his hand and squeezes it hard. "It's going to be okay," she mouths at him. "Don't give up."

* * *

Luke storms into the Institute's library, his face tight with anger, flashing a thunderous glare at Alec. "Damn it, Lightwood, she's my daughter. You had no right to keep me away from her!"

"Luke!" The rush of relief at seeing him again is so enormous that Clary bursts into tears on the spot, even as he embraces her. "Oh my God, Luke, you're alive! Where have you been all this time? I tried so hard to find you. I asked around at the precinct, and everywhere else I could think of, but no one would talk to me." She's babbling and she knows it, but she can't stop. "Vargas… They told me she was _dead_ , Luke, and they refused to tell me what happened to you, and I was so horribly scared…"

"Shhh." Luke pulls her even closer, hugging her hard. "So, you really don't remember? Not even-" He breaks off. "Clary, what have they told you about Jocelyn?"

"Not much. Nothing, really." Clary bites back a sob as a flicker of hope flares up in her chest. "Luke, is she… Is she alive, too?"

But her hopes are dashed immediately, as Luke sadly shakes his head. "No, kiddo. Your mother is gone. I am so sorry."

"What… what happened to her?" Clary fights back more tears in order to look Luke in the eyes. She needs to be sure he's telling the truth.

"She was killed by a demon." Luke's voice is firm and certain, but Clary _knows_ there's more to it.

And when she twists around, her gaze falls on Alec Lightwood, who is watching them intently. "You." The knowledge hits her so hard it _hurts_. "You killed her."

"I did." Alec has gone very pale. "But-"

"He was possessed by a demon, when he did it, Clary. It's not his fault." Luke is gripping her tightly, as if he's trying to anchor her. "Think. Remember."

And just like that, it all comes back, all the details– the knowledge that Jocelyn was a Shadowhunter, too, and that she was staying here with them, at the Institute. _A brief time of happiness, followed by the horror of losing her mom, of attending her funeral… all those people dressed in white, Jocelyn's body on a bier, Jace's comforting arm around her shoulders…_ It all comes back, with brilliant clarity, and the pain in her heart is fresh and raw again, just like when it happened. "You killed her!" She glares at Alec, putting all her rage and despair into her gaze, trying to make him feel every bit of it. "She's gone."

He closes his eyes, averting his face. His shoulders slump, and he looks utterly defeated. "Yes. I'm deeply sorry, Clary. If I could-"

Her rage abates as quickly as it had started, and now she feels ashamed. "No, I'm sorry. It's not your fault." But it still hurts, more than she can bear.

"Clary." Luke is still holding her, and now he pushes her back a little so he can look into her eyes. "I feel I should apologize, for leaving you all alone out there. I should have done more. But you see, it was… complicated."

Another flash of rage tears through her at his words. "Oh, was it? Yeah, for me, too."

Luke looks suitably chastened. "Things have changed, kiddo. There was no way for me to go back to my old job, to my old life. I-"

For the first time, she takes a proper look at him. He does look different, in a way that's hard to define, until she notices the rune on his hand. "Wait a minute… you're a Shadowhunter, too? Have you been hiding that from me all the time? Both you and mom?"

"No! Yes. But back then, I was a werewolf and-" Luke breaks off, brushing off her cry of surprise with a weary gesture. "As I said, it's complicated. A long story, and Alec is right that you shouldn't hear it all at once. But I promise I'll be here for you now, okay?"

"Okay." Clary nods, but her heart isn't in it. Luke has abandoned her once, and it's hard to trust him again. When he leaves, promising to return soon, it's almost a relief.

Jace finds her, much later, curled up on a bench in the greenhouse, where she has hidden behind a tangle of plants. Awkwardly, he sits down next to her, touching her shoulder. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there. Alec and Izzy should have told me that Luke was on his way."

"It's okay. I'm fine." Clary sits up, hoping he won't be able to tell how long and how hard she's been crying.

But he sees right through it. "No. You're not."

Slowly, giving her plenty of time to protest, he pulls her into his arms, hugging her gently. "Clary. I'm here if you need me." His hand is in her hair, cradling her head to his shoulder, and his body is so solid and warm, a firm wall protecting her from all the horrors out there.

With a final sob, she relaxes against him. "Can you hold me? Just hold me, nothing else?"

Jace nods, and he does just that, for almost an hour, until she has to leave. They don't talk, but it's nice and quiet and peaceful to be in his arms like this, with her head against his chest, listening to his slow, steady heartbeat.

Clary hasn't felt so safe in months.

* * *

About a week later, Clary walks in as Jace and Simon are sparring, and her eyes go wide as saucers. Without breaking her stride, she reaches for one of the Seraph blades on the rack, and it immediately springs to life in her hands.

Jace's heart sings at the sight of her, because this is his Clary, his girl, the one he used to spar with, the one who used to fight at his side. When she falls into a graceful fighting stance, a hot surge of pride races up his spine.

"Well?" She's looking at _him_ , he realises, looking past Simon as if he weren't there, even though he has made some good progress lately. "What are you waiting for?"

Jace knows he should refuse the challenge. Clary doesn't have her runes back, except for the Voyance rune on her hand, and it's simply not fair to let her go up against him, not to mention dangerous. But the sight of her, crouching low, her eyes glittering with excitement, makes his brain short-circuit.

"Fine. Show me what you've got." He feels a smile tug at his lips as he raises his blades, ignoring Simon's cry of protest.

One single graceful leap takes her right in front of him, so close he can smell her scent. Their blades meet in mid-air, she twists away, and already she is out of his reach again. Jace laughs with delight, because yes, she clearly remembers her fighting routines, or her body does, even though she's a little slower than she used to be. Not enough exercise, probably - mundanes rarely bother to keep in proper shape. But that can be easily remedied. As soon as she gets her Stamina rune back, they are going to do this again, they are going to practise daily, and then-

Jace is so lost in his daydream that he almost misses her second attack, blocking it at the last moment with a clumsy upward swing of his blade. The impact sends both swords flying, and Clary barrelling straight into his chest. He barely manages to grip her by the arms before she tumbles to the floor, and she ends up pressed tight against his body, shaking and trembling with excitement.

His vision goes white and all he can think of is how badly he wants to kiss her. He _knows_ what her lips taste like, knows how they would feel under his own, soft and sweet, and the thought is driving him crazy with want. There's no way to hide his reaction from her, of course, not with the way she's pressed up to him. Clary's cheeks turn pink, and she opens her mouth, as if to speak, but right then, Simon audibly clears his throat, and the spell is broken. At least for now.

Things are different between them afterwards, more strained and at the same time more intimate.

Clary begins to spend more time at the Institute, and she no longer pretends to be there in order to see Simon. They talk a lot, and sometimes she smiles at him, just like she used to, bright and happy. It's progress, Jace keeps telling himself, but it's still painfully slow. He really just wants things to go back to the way they were.

He just wants her to remember him.


	3. Chapter 3

"I'm so glad you're back with us, here at the Institute where you belong." Izzy beams at Clary over dinner. "We've missed you so much."

"It's just temporary. For the summer," Clary points out, aiming a winning smile at Izzy to soften the impact of her words. She still feels guilty for how long it's taken her to rekindle their friendship. "If I'm not back for the Fall Semester, Maureen will have to find another roommate, and I can't do that to her."

"Whatever. You have plenty of time to decide until then." Izzy's expression makes it abundantly clear that the last word hasn't been spoken on this subject, as far as she's concerned. "We haven't touched your room during your absence. Jace wouldn't allow it."

"Yeah, well. It's not as if we're hurting for space." Jace sounds grumpy, but he flashes Clary a quick smile, when no one is looking.

And later that night, he follows her up to her room to say goodnight, and when they're on the doorstep, it seems the most natural thing in the world to turn around and melt into his arms. The kiss starts out sweet and tender, the merest brushing of his lips against hers. But then she shifts in his arms, and his hand tightens in her hair and things grow exponentially hotter. Suddenly, his tongue is in her mouth, searching, exploring, and she is kissing him back with equal fierceness, unable to get enough of him. He feels wonderful against her, all hard and firm and strong, and by the time they pause for breath, Clary is dizzy and out of breath. Jace is panting, too, his pupils blown wide and his cheeks flushed with desire, and the temptation to take things further is almost overwhelming.

She could ask him in, he could spend the night, they could finally give in to the tension that has been growing between them for weeks. After all, they're both grown-ups, and it's not like she's a virgin or opposed to sex on principle or-

"Goodnight, Clary." And now clearly the moment has passed, because Jace is taking a step back, his hand cupping her cheek with infinite tenderness before he lets go of her and turns to leave.

With a deep sigh, Clary steps into the room, allowing the door to fall shut behind her. It _is_ a nice room, if a little stuffy and old-fashioned, with all the wood-panelling and the patterned wallpaper. The bed is soft and inviting, much more comfortable than the one at Maureen's apartment, and the wardrobe has plenty of space for the few clothes Clary has brought. In fact, there's a number of outfits in there that she can't recall wearing, but they look as if they'd fit her perfectly. Maybe it's time to reclaim them, too, but… _Gosh, that's a lot of leather._

She decides to leave the clothes for another day and turns to the desk instead. She smiles when she sees the stele placed prominently on it – an unspoken acknowledgement that she's back to being a Shadowhunter. Clary whispers a silent _Thank you_ to Izzy, certain that she's the one behind it.

An ornamented wooden case takes up most of the rest of the space on the desk, and when she opens it, she finds a pair of daggers inside. They are as ornate as the case, with strange symbols etched onto their hilts and blades, but they're clearly not just meant for show. They are weapons, beautiful, slim and deadly, and they're hers – Clary knows without needing to be told.

The moment she lays her hand on the first dagger, she gasps hard. An image of her mother wielding it flashes across her closed eyelids, so vivid that it needs no explanation. Jocelyn's dagger then, an heirloom, a memento of her mother. But what about the second dagger? Was that her mother's as well?

Slowly, very slowly, Clary reaches out to touch it, unsure of what to expect.

This time, the memories hit her like a ton of bricks. _Not a dagger. A_ kindjal _. That's what it's called. And it used to belong to... Valentine Morgenstern_. The name triggers a cascade of images and sounds in her brain, all of them so violent and so disturbing that she sinks down to her knees, clutching her head, struggling to keep them out. But it's no use. On and on, they pound into her mind, like an avalanche of stones, brutal and inescapable.

_Valentine. My father. My real father. He kidnapped my mom. He wanted the Cup. Always the Cup. Anything for the Cup, no matter who he had to kill, to hurt, to torture. The Circle. Eradicating all downworlders. Genocide. My father is a monster. An inhuman, murderous psychopath_. And finally, one last memory, maybe the cruellest of them all: Valentine confronting her and Jace, throwing the truth in their faces. _Blood calls to blood. I'm your father, too, Jace._

A wave of nausea floods her, and she feels unspeakably dirty. Jace is her _brother_? But, how can this be, when just a few minutes ago-

She needs to find him. Now. Without a moment's hesitation, she heads for the door.

"Why didn't you tell me?" There's a bitter taste in her mouth, like ashes, and she wants to spit, wants to rid herself of its vile tang. Jace has listened patiently, and now he's standing before her, gazing toward the floor, remaining strangely quiet while she rages at him.

"I get trying to spare me from bad things, but this? All the time I've been here, you've been flirting with me, looking at me like- And when you took me to my room just now, we _kissed_! How could you allow that to happen, knowing you're my brother? How could you?"

"Because I'm not." Jace sighs, rubbing his eyes, and he looks wearier than she's ever seen him. "It was a lie, Clary. The moment you described… Valentine was lying to us both, messing with our heads. Jace Herondale is my real name, no matter what Valentine said. He stole me from my parents, he brought me up as his son, but I'm not your brother. He told us himself, much later, when we confronted him again. You just don't remember it yet."

"But how can you be sure? Maybe that was a lie, too? Maybe he is still messing with us." Clary stifles a sob. So many lies, so much cruelty. How can she ever live with the thought that this _Valentine_ is her father?

"I am sure. When my grandmother died, the Clave demanded a DNA test before allowing me to inherit the family fortune. My parents were Stephen and Céline Herondale. I can show you the paperwork if you want." Jace flinches a little when he mentions his grandmother. _Seems there's a story there, too._

But Clary is too tired to ask. More violence, more death, in all probability, and she's already had more of that tonight than she can take. When Jace pulls her into a hug, she doesn't object. Huddling closer to him, she lets him hold her, lets him comfort her.

But when his lips tentatively brush against her cheek, she pulls back. "I'm sorry, Jace. I… I need some time to process it all."

"Of course you do. I understand." Jace sounds exhausted and horribly frustrated, but Clary can't help it.

It's too confusing, thinking of him as her lover one moment, then her brother the next, and now going back to flirting, kissing… She can't do it, no matter how much it must hurt him. Valentine's version of events, even if it was a lie, feels much more real in her mind right now than anything Jace has told her.

God. This is all so crazy. How on Earth did she survive it the first time around?

* * *

After the incident with the daggers, Clary becomes more insistent, badgering him with questions about her family at every opportunity. Jace is finding it harder and harder to evade her questions. More than once, Jonathan's name is on the tip of his tongue, more than once he nearly slips up and tells her about the night Valentine died, the night she brought him back from the dead.

The feeling that she should know about these things gets stronger and stronger, and Jace is nearly at the end of his tether. Izzy actually agrees with him when he asks her. But when they confront Alec together, he remains adamant. "We agreed on this, Jace. No shortcuts."

Frustrated, Jace storms out of Izzy's office. _Time for a different approach_. He reaches for his sensor to make a call he should have made a long time ago. Less than an hour later, a portal opens in the library.

Magnus waltzes into the room with his usual flair, blowing kisses at everyone and pulling Clary into a fluid embrace. "Biscuit! You look amazing. I love the hair!"

Clary seems a little overwhelmed, but at the same time happier and more optimistic than she has in a long time, and Jace knows immediately that he's made the right decision.

Ignoring Alec's glare with practised ease, Magnus takes Clary by both hands and makes her sit down on the couch with him. "Clary Fairchild. What do you know about me?"

"You're Magnus Bane." Clary smiles shyly at him. "You're Alec's husband and you are a powerful warlock. You knew my mom, too, and I believe you put some kind of spell on me, when I was a little girl." She hesitates. "That's all, I think. I'm sorry."

"That's fine, no need to worry. Now, let me see." Magical energy bursts from Magnus's fingertips as he places them on her temples, and his eyes take on that familiar otherworldly gleam. He focusses hard and for a moment, a brief triumphant smile plays around his lips. But then it disappears again, and he pulls his hands back with a yelp. "Ouch! Yes, it is much as I feared. My powers, impressive as they are, are nowhere near strong enough to overcome Raziel's. I am sorry, my dear."

"Good." Alec forces the word out between clenched teeth. "We should never have-"

"However!" Magnus raises his hand with a theatrical flourish. "There is no reason to despair yet, biscuit. We may not be able to magically restore your memories, but I don't see what is stopping us from simply _telling_ you what happened. After all, we have a room full of people who were there with you."

"Magnus." Alec's lips are set in a tight line of disapproval. "We can't. There's no telling how she'll react. The trauma of learning about her past…"

"Oh, for the love of-" Magnus sighs. "Alexander! Clary was perfectly strong enough to handle it all when it actually happened to her. Why would she be traumatized by the mere retelling? Our tales might even trigger additional flashbacks if we are lucky."

"It's too great a risk." Alec stubbornly shakes his head. "Besides, there's simply so much she doesn't know. Things are far too complicated to sum them up in just a few words."

"Nonsense." Taking both her hands in this again, Magnus returns his attention to Clary. "You see, it is all fairly simple, my dear. You had a brother, Jonathan Morgenstern. Valentine experimented on all of you, injecting him with demon blood and Jace with angel blood. You have angel blood as well, which gave you the power to make your own runes. Anyway, Valentine and your brother are both dead, and you have lost your special powers, so all of this is pretty much a moot point now."

"Oh." Clary stares at Magnus, looking dazed.

"Magnus!" Alec's glare has turned into a murderous stare.

But Magnus waves him away with a quick gesture. "Valentine and Jonathan tried to destroy all that we love and cherish, we fought back, angels and demons got involved, there was a lot of fighting and screaming, and ultimately the good guys won. That's us, in case you were wondering." His grand gesture includes all the people in the room – Izzy, Alec, Jace, himself. "Ah, yes, and lest I forget, you were the one who killed both Jonathan and Valentine, but do not let that worry you. I can assure you the world is a better place without both of them in it."

Clary blinks like a deer in the headlights. "I killed them both?"

At a nudge from Magnus, Jace drops to his knees next to her and puts his arm around her. "You had to, Clary. It was the only way to save us all. You were incredibly brave." Breathing a kiss on her hair, he cradles her tightly in his arms. "It's all good. I'm here."

She shudders once, her slim body feeling fragile as a bird in his embrace, but then she melts into him. "Jace. Hold me."

"See." Magnus beams happily at them. "That wasn't so hard, was it?"

Alec is still mad as hell. Jace can feel the anger across their bond, but for once, he doesn't care. Besides, he's sure Magnus will come up with a way to bring him to his senses. He always does.

Over the course of the next days, they collectively fill Clary in on last year's Earth-shattering events. Sebastian, Lilith, the Owl, the Mortal Instruments, the Heavenly Fire. Some of their tales trigger further flashbacks, most of them don't. Some of them are painful to tell, and others make her cry. But with each step she takes, Clary gains more confidence and strength, and that is wonderful to see. And it's such a blessed relief to no longer have to lie to her. Jace is forever glad for Magnus's intervention.

They spend long evenings in front of the fireplace in the library, with Clary huddled up close to him, asking him endless questions about Idris and Alicante, about the Angel and the history of Shadowhunting. Jace tries to answer them all, researching stuff he doesn't know during the day, whenever he can make time for it between missions. Clary drinks it all in, her eyes huge and dark in the dim light, and sometimes the urge to kiss her is almost more than he can bear.

But things are still far from clear-cut between them. She knows now that he loves her, she knows they used to be a couple. He has given her all the facts, even told her about the time she was dating Simon (which she still refuses to believe), and about their adventure at the Seelie Queen's court. Still, this is the one area where mere knowledge is not enough. She has to _feel_ it, her heart has to be in it, and there's nothing he can do to make that happen. For all their new-found closeness, there's still something missing.

And it's breaking his heart.


	4. Chapter 4

When Izzy finally allows her to join the others on a hunt, Clary nearly bursts with pride. There's still so much she has to re-learn, but deep inside, she knows that this is what she was born to do – chasing demons, protecting ordinary humans, fighting with Jace at her side. Her art will always have a special place in her heart, but she is a Shadowhunter, no doubt about it. As they make their way through the sewers, following the traces of ichor, she feels more alive than she has in months.

The Shax demon catches her unawares, attacking her from behind while she's busy tracking down its littermates. She does manage to throw it off, but not before it gets its claws into her arms and shoulders. Wincing at the pain, she twists around, draws her blade, and buries it in the creature's stomach with a satisfying squelching noise. But she's still a tad too slow to avoid its nasty teeth, and when it finally stops twitching, they are buried deep in her leg. And damn, but it _hurts_!

Jace is tense and snappy, and she knows he's silently berating himself for not taking better care of her, even as he gathers her up in his arms to take her back to the Institute. The other Shadowhunters easily handle the remaining demons. At least she hasn't completely ruined the mission.

They take her to the infirmary, and Jace hovers over her with a stele for what seems like hours, patiently treating every bruise and scratch.

"You don't have to heal them all at once, you know." She smiles at him, but instead of smiling back, he goes pale, freezing for a moment. "Jace? What's the matter?"

Slowly, he exhales. "Sorry. It's just… I said the exact same thing to you once, when you were healing me, and afterwards-" He breaks off.

"What? You heard Magnus." Clary shakes her head impatiently. "Tell me what happened. Maybe it will trigger the memory."

"We kissed." Jace swallows. "And it was one hell of a kiss. Definitely memorable."

Clary strains her head as hard as she can to make the image come to life, but her mind remains frustratingly silent, refusing to give up its secrets. Jace is watching her intently, as if he could make her remember by sheer force of will. It breaks her heart to disappoint him, but she can't lie to him. "Sorry. I've got nothing. Maybe if-"

"It's okay. It's not your fault." The hope in his eyes dies, like a candle flickering out in a gust of wind. "I'm sure we'll figure it all out eventually." The resignation in his voice cuts her to the bone.

"Or we won't." He opens his mouth to speak but she silences him with a quick gesture. "You know… What if we're going about this the wrong way? What if it's not about going back to what we had before? I mean, if we really loved each other before, and I think we did…" Clary hesitates, because this thought is new and unfamiliar, and she's not sure where it's going yet. "I'm tired of chasing the past. Maybe we just have to let it go. Maybe we just have to choose each other again."

Jace bites his lip, hard enough to draw blood. "But would you? Choose me again, I mean?"

"Always." Clary raises her hand to touch him, slowly tracing the contours of his face, keeping her touch as light as a feather. His skin is rough with stubble; it's been some time since he's had a chance to shave. Her fingertips find his lips, always chapped, always bitten raw. He worries so much, and he rarely ever talks about it. "Let's make some new memories."

And she leans in to kiss him.

He's hesitant at first, holding back as if he's afraid she will change her mind, but when she opens up to him, he moans and deepens the kiss, pulling her close to him with his free hand. Dimly, Clary is aware of the pain, when he brushes against a bruise he's overlooked earlier, but she doesn't even care because it is all too good, too overwhelming. Kissing Jace, tasting his lips, drinking in his moans and sighs… it's like nothing else in the world, like coming home, and at the same time new and exciting.

The moment he lets go of her lips, she catches his mouth again, eager for more, and he complies, kissing her again and again, until she's buzzing all over, as if her whole body has been taken over by butterflies. His hands begin to wander all over her, teasing and caressing, leaving a burning hot trail on her skin wherever they go. She tries to return the favour, tries to get her hands on him, but he's all wrapped up in leather and she can barely manage to find a strip of bare skin at his waist. When she touches him, he groans, deep in his throat, and Clary's mind goes blank for a moment. This is getting out of control, this is-

Izzy's genteel little cough drives them apart. "Look, I'm glad to see that you are better, but I really think the two of you should take this to your room."

Jace jumps back, putting as much distance between them as possible. His face is unreadable, and Clary flinches internally. Was this a mistake? Does he regret kissing her? Or is he just embarrassed about being caught? Before she can work out what to say or do, he is already mumbling something about a debriefing and heading for the door, dragging Izzy with him, and leaving her by herself.

Clary lies back on the narrow bed with a frustrated sigh. _This is getting ridiculous_. One way or the other, they have to sort this out.

* * *

The weekly meeting of the Downworlder Council seems to take forever tonight and Jace silently curses Izzy for insisting on his attendance. Lorenzo is more verbose than ever, and Maia keeps rolling her expressive eyes as he pontificates about the challenges of being High Warlock in these trying times. Serena, the new vampire representative, politely suppresses the occasional yawn, while Meliorn is being his usual slightly obnoxious self, alternately flirting with Izzy and aiming barely hidden barbs at Jace.

"Izzy, could you spare a moment- Oh, I'm sorry." Clary is standing in the doorway, and she looks mortified. "I thought you'd finished a while ago. My apologies."

"It's fine." Izzy smiles at her. "We're almost done, aren't we?"

There's a murmur of agreement, and Clary is about to leave, when her gaze falls on Meliorn. "Oh!" Her eyes go wide, and she blushes fiercely, stammering something incomprehensible before she stumbles out of the room.

"Excuse me, please?" Jace throws a pleading glance at Izzy, who nods curtly. "Clary!" Rushing out of the room, he can't see her anywhere.

It takes him a while to track her down, but in the end, he finds her in her room. When he knocks, she asks him in, but she avoids his gaze, and her cheeks are still tinged pink.

"What's the matter?" Sitting down next to her on the bed, he gently takes her hands.

"It's just…" She laughs a little. "I'm sorry. I'm just being silly."

"No, tell me." He squeezes her palm a little harder, wondering whether to hug her. Despite their kiss at the infirmary, it's still such a tightrope walk, figuring out what she will tolerate at any given time, and what she won't, what is all right between them and what isn't. He doesn't want to push her too far, doesn't want to risk what is starting to grow between them.

"That guy… the good-looking one Izzy was talking to, with the pointy ears-" She gazes at him, a question in her eyes.

"Meliorn." Jace sighs. "I told you all about him. He's been the representative of the Seelies on the Council, ever since the Queen died, and sometimes before."

Clary makes a quick, impatient gesture. Clearly, she's not interested in Seelie politics right now. "I know him, right? I've met him before?" When Jace nods, she quickly continues. "You see, I had this super vivid flashback of him and Simon and the two of us, but we were in… Edom, I think? Some strange place, with a kind of orange-y sky…"

"Edom," Jace confirms, and Clary nods, looking relieved to have gotten it right.

"Anyway, in that flashback, Meliorn said something to you about…" Again, she blushes. "He said you'd know the full extent of his powers the next time you took your lover to bed."

"Ah." Closing his eyes, Jace bites back a groan. The memory is still an embarrassment – being magically tied to Meliorn, unable to lie, completely at the man's mercy. "Yes. He was being a pain in the ass." And that's putting it mildly.

"That lover he was referring to…" Clary looks away again, but there's something playful about the gesture, almost as if she's teasing him. "That would be me, right?"

Jace feels his heartbeat speed up. "Yes."

"And did you?" Now she's looking straight into his eyes. Is this some kind of challenge, he wonders? Is she flirting with him, trying to make him lose control? Or is he imagining things, just because he so desperately wants his fantasies to come true?

"Did I what?" Jace clears his throat.

"Did you take me to bed?" Yes, there's a definite twinkle in her eyes, and it's making his mouth go dry.

"Clary…" He has to close his eyes again, because there is no way he can let her see the full extent of what she's doing to him. "Yeah. I did."

It's an effort to keep his voice steady. That night… right after they'd defeated Lilith, and he'd finally felt completely free of her influence, free of the fear of succumbing to her again… The memory of it used to haunt him like nothing else, while Clary was gone. And yes, it had been amazing, but not because of any Seelie tricks learned from Meliorn, nothing like that. Just having Clary in his arms again had been more than enough, and if he'd known then that he was about to lose her, that this would be the last time-

He shivers. That's all over now, he reminds himself, and Clary is here, with him, and it's almost, _almost_ as it used to be. And that has to be enough because it's all they have.

* * *

Some small part of Clary is mad at herself for tormenting Jace, but at the same time, she can't help it. It's too exciting to see him like this, and besides, something in her head urges her on, some feeling that she's close, so very close to another breakthrough.

"So… Was it really that good?" She makes her voice as sultry as she can and Jace actually _moans_ at her words. _Oh_. Clearly, she's on the right track. "Did I like it? Did I-"

"Damn it, Clary!" Before she knows it, he's pulled her into his lap, and now that she's straddling him, it's impossible to miss his arousal. His hands are hot on her back, his eyes are feverish, and he's straining hard against his jeans.

"You… You need to stop teasing me. Unless-" He hesitates, and the expression in his eyes nearly kills her – so much hope, so much longing. "Unless you want me. Unless you want this. Do you?"

"I... I think I do, but…" Some small part of her is still scared, scared that whatever rises to the surface will hurt her, or that they will regret it all later. "Do you think you could take it slow?"

"I can try." He swallows so hard she can see his throat move. "Just, please…" His hands are on the first button of her blouse, and he looks at her in a mute plea for permission.

Clary nods, tongue-tied, because it's intoxicating to be wanted like this, to be desired with such raw, unbridled force. It would go to her head if she didn't want him just as much in return.

Jace is tense all over, trembling with want, but he keeps his promise and goes slowly, opening each button with infinite care, his fingertips brushing against every inch of skin he bares, in the lightest of caresses. By the time he slides the blouse off her shoulders, Clary is tingling all over, aching for more. But for a long moment, he just _looks_ at her, as if he can't believe she's really there.

And then he bends down and takes one of her nipples between his lips.

It's like an electric shock. The feel of his lips on her, gentle and tentative… it's almost unbearably sweet, and at the same time, the sensation travels all the way through her like a red-hot flare, setting every cell in her body on fire.

And Clary _knows_ , knows with blinding certainty that they have done this before. With a suddenness that leaves her entirely breathless, the memories come flooding back: Jace's mouth on her breasts, teasing and sucking; his hand between her legs, patiently learning how she likes to be touched; Jace kissing her deeply and thrusting hard inside her at the same time… It's an overwhelming rush of feeling, and she feels like she's falling, tumbling headfirst into the abyss, but Jace is there, holding her tight. When she comes back, he's staring at her, as if he can't quite believe what he's seeing.

"Clary?" His voice is rough and scratchy. "Was that… did you…"

"Yes. I remember everything. I love you. I want you." And now it's all easy, and there is no reason to be scared any more, because this is Jace, and she loves him, and making love to him is the most natural, most logical thing in the world. She is more than ready for him, too, wet and pulsing with desire, and she knows she can't possibly wait any longer. "Jace?"

He nods, still numb with shock, even though a slow smile is beginning to spread across his face.

"I need you inside me. Now." Her voice sounds different, clear, and confident, and the effect her words have on Jace is phenomenal.

His eyes go pitch dark, and when she reaches for the buttons of his jeans, his hand is already there, tearing them open in one swift move. Moments later, she has her hands on him, and he feels so good, thick, and hard and warm, just as she remembers him. Swiftly, he hitches up her skirt, practically tears off her underwear with his bare hands, but Clary doesn't care, because this is urgent, this needs to happen now, with no further delay.

And yet he pauses, right before he pushes into her, pauses to look her in the eyes and ask. "Are you sure? Are you really, really sure?"

"Yes." She nods, and her heart is so full she wants to scream the word, wants to shout it over the rooftops. "I love you, Jace. I love you so much."

"I love you, too." He thrusts upwards, deep and hard, filling her completely in one single stroke. "More than anything else in the world."

And this is it, this is what she's been craving, what she _needs_. Jace inside her, so close, so incredibly close, his hands on her back, their bodies pressed together so tightly that there's nothing between them anymore, not even a hair's breadth. His skin is hot and slick with sweat and she can feel the muscles dance in his arms as he slowly lifts her, just a tiny bit, then lowers her back down again, and somehow manages to slide even deeper inside her.

"Clary, I…" His voice is vibrating with emotion, so many things left unsaid, but they have all the time in the world to say them now, to talk, to make love, to reconnect. "I can't-"

"Shhhh. It's all good." Clinging to his shoulders, she finds his lips for a kiss, moaning when she tastes him, whimpering when he deepens the kiss, claiming her mouth with a greed unlike anything she's ever known before. Jace wants all of her, and she wants all of him, and a lifetime together won't be enough to satisfy their hunger.

He feels so wonderful inside her, so utterly _right_ , and her only regret is that this is all going so fast. At the rate they are going, it's going to be over far too soon. But Jace surprises her. The moment he breaks the kiss, he lies back, his hands sliding up her body until he's cupping both her breasts, his eyes drinking in the sight of her on top of him. Clary immediately misses the close contact, the feel of his skin on hers, but at the same time, this is all she could possibly ask for: a perfect view of his body, so strong and so full of pent-up force and passion; his skilled fingers playing with her nipples so expertly that he's sending sparks through her with every touch; their bodies joined as intimately as they can be, fitting together so perfectly it makes her want to cry. It's paradise, or as close to it as they will ever get.

He takes his time caressing her, finding every secret spot that makes her gasp and shiver, keeping still except for the tiniest moves of his hips, just enough to remind her that he's still there, lodged inside her, hard and hot and wonderful. Every nerve in her body is singing with ecstasy, every inch of her skin is aching for his touch. By the time he finally flips them both over and starts to move faster, she is already floating on a cloud of bliss, unable to think or form words any longer.

* * *

Jace is using every bit of skill at his disposal, every trick he has ever learned to make this last, switching up the angle every now and then, and reciting long lists of runes in his head whenever he gets too close. He wants this to be perfect, he wants Clary to come with him still inside her, so even though he is aching to get his mouth on her and taste her on his tongue, he resists the temptation. There are so many things he wants to do, but he's saving them all for later, for the next time. Because there will be a next time, there _has_ to be a next time.

He is watching Clary like a hawk, never taking his eyes off her face, as he takes her higher and higher, to the point where they lose track of everything except the two of them, him and her joined together, and the pleasure building between them, like a perfect storm waiting to break.

And when it finally does, it's so beautiful, so overpowering that his body seems too small to contain the inexorable force of it. He's soaring, high above it all, he's leaving the confines of this world, his mind blanking out for a single, sweet moment of perfect happiness.

And Clary is there with him, gasping his name, her body tightening around him again and again as she, too, is swept away by the force of this gale, clinging to him like he's her lifeline. Which is just as it should be because he has vowed to protect her forever, to keep her safe in his arms.

He keeps holding her afterwards, kissing her hair, whispering words of love in her ears. Never again is he going to let anything come between them – no angel, no demon, no matter what the world will throw at them. Now that he has her back, he won't ever let go of her again. They can finally be together.

Forever.

**Author's Note:**

> All the hugs and thanks to my wonderful and amazing beta suilven.


End file.
